Artists from the Past, and me

So, Im taking an Art History class this semester, Post Modernism, and all in all, its pretty boring. I guess its interesting to see the different styles and get some inspiration for my own work, but I never really paid attention to the artists and their lives, until recently. I was listening to our instructor discuss one artists life, Yves Klein, and it hit home how related his thoughts are to mine, and the way he lived his life. Then I started thinking about all of the other artists we had talked about in that period, and how their thoughts are also very similar to mine.

Artists are pretty weird. We are thinkers. We are definately outside-the-box thinkers. Average, everyday things dont really concern us. We think more about the complexities of life, why we think certian ways, why we do this, what does that mean. Then we try and give an answer with a different perspective. This has been proven in the art world time and time again with all the different movements. A couple that come to mind are the Dada movement, and Zero, which are actually pretty similar. Artists are constantly trying to change the way we view things. Our brains run at a hundred miles per hour, constantly.

Today, I had an exam in that class. Four essay questions with 15 minutes to complete each question. The exam was easy for me, I have gone to every class so I remembered everything we talked about in class. But anyways, we got a spare sheet of paper to write thoughts down before we write our essay, and I just started writing random notes that I was thinking at the time. Right after I finished one of the questions, I started thinking about why I always write with a pen, especially essay questions. I wrote on my spare paper something like,"With pen, its easy to make mistakes, mistakes you cant correct. Your mistake is present, there is no way of hiding it. You may try, but it only makes things worse, you cant cover up your mistakes without everyone still able to see it. Such is life." At another point during the exam I wrote,"We have no Great War, no Great Depression. Our Great War is a spiritual war, our Great Depression is our lives." Its from Fight Club. Then I thought, without suffering, there would be no happiness. We need suffering to become happy.

I didnt know we had to turn in that sheet, my instructor is gonna read that haha.

Then, later on after I came back from class, I went to AJs room and hes reading this book about the four behavioral styles: Director, Thinker, Relator, and Socializer. I was almost definately a Thinker. The book said that a thinker is the only group that thinks about the complexities of life, is generally introverted, has trouble making decisions, trouble sleeping, creativity, things like that.

AND.....the other day I was in that same class, thinking about these artists lives, thinking about how their thinking has left an impact on the world....a very small impact......and mostly in the world of art.....but an impact nonetheless. That was inspiring.

But then again, they lived....then they died. Their lives were short. Their lives are now defined by their artwork, not their thinking. And several of them had committed suicide. Thats depressing.