Im able

I had an epiphany today, one that made me glad to be alive. I had just gotten out of class, walked out of the art building to once again realized it was cold and windy outside as the thought "I hate cold weather" had crept into my head. It was just warm yesterday, warm enough to wear only a tshirt and no jacket, now today it is in the teens.

Then it hit me.

It sounds a little strange, but I thought about how lucky I was to have the opportunity to feel the cold, just the chance to actually feel. Im not talking about thinking of other people who are in warm climates who have never been in freezing temperatures. Im talking about being alive, as in not dead. This isnt the first time Ive thought this. Sometimes while I am hating the cold weather because it makes me uncomfortable, at the same time I embrace the feeling of the bitter cold air on my face, its hard to describe why I do this, Im just happy to be alive I guess, happy to exist, glad that I have gotten the opportunity to be human. Im just trying to embrace the little things. I feel like I wont get these opportunities after I die. Or maybe its just a taste of what Ill get. Not sure.

This is a hard concept to describe. Just imagine that there are things out there, maybe angels or something, that dont have the opportunities that we do. We have certain abilities that we are born with. We are able to build relationships, laugh, cry, hurt, love, breathe oxygen, create, destroy, reason, eat, sleep, wonder, I feel like we are completely free, we have no bounds. It sounds really crazy when I write it down, I probably sound like I am mentally ill or something.

But this feeling makes me forget about the craziness of life, about the things I want or think I need, about problems with school and girls and money, and helps me see the big picture. Im just trying not to let life pass me by without noticing the characteristics of living, of existence in general. God had made the choice for me to exist, or to not exist, why shouldnt I embrace it?