The Glory Days

So last night I was rummaging through my junk drawers in my bedroom that are full of pictures and.......just plain junk from high school. I was flipping through all of the pictures thinking, "yeah, those were the days...," although Ive only been out of high school for three years. But I did find a few things that I had completely forgot about and had no idea I had saved. I found a few letters and notes and cards from girls that I had dated back in high school. I can't believe I used to be such a stud back then (thats possibly a huge overstatement). I was reading these notes that were saying things like, "Thank you for being that special person and always being there for me" and "You are the best friend a girl could have" or "I hope to get to know you more", yeah, stuff like that. I remember back when used to work at Kmart, I would get these notes stuck on the windshield of my Jeep after work. I dont know what I'm doing differently these days, but I just dont get that kind of feedback anymore. I can't keep a girl interested in me for more than a week anymore.

Now, Im not saying that I was Gods gift to women, actually, quite the contrary. I am really not good at dating. Im not really sure whats good etiquette for dating and whats not, and Im pretty shy around people I dont know, so im not sure why these girls were that interested in me. But once I start to get to know someone, I start to be myself more. Which, if you have ever met me......Im really not would you wouldve expected. I've been told by.....actaully every girl Ive dated, that I'm not like other guys. Now, I'm not sure if thats a good thing or a bad thing. They say its good.......then a week later stop talking to me. But I stay optimistic. If someone doesnt like me for who I am, then they arent worth dating anyways.

But, most of the time, about 99.2% of the time, I am single. And I enjoy it. Most of the time I feel sorry for people my age who are in long-long-long term relationships. But, sometimes I do get jealous of them. Now, I am a pretty independent person. And I am a slight introvert. So I am alone a lot of times, which, I like to be left alone most of the time. But like everyone else, I also get lonely. This is when I would like to have a girlfriend, someone I can talk to, someone I can love and who will make me feel loved.

But like I said, I feel sorry for people my age in long term relationships that will end up in marriage. Actually a few people I graduated with are already married. Now, I have two problems with people getting married so young.

NUMBER 1. I am only 21. I have been out of high school for three years. Thats three years that I have been on my own, free to do whatever I want. ONLY three years. If I get married right now, I will have only had three years of freedom. Right now, if I wanted to, I could leave everything and move to China underneath the Great Wall and live off the land. If I was married.....yeah right. I need a lot more than three years to LIVE ON MY OWN. LIVE. Im not saying that marriage is death........but close. Death to individualism. Death to choices.

NUMBER 2. Generally when someone gets married, they say things like,"Well, we have decided to wait two years before we have children...." Why do you need to plan your life out like that? When you say stuff like that, who is in control of your life? You are, right? It shouldnt be like that. God should be in control of your life. Now if God is saying,"wait two years" then you know its right. But I guess sometimes it is hard to decipher between Gods voice and our own. In addition, If you have children at 23, you are still a child yourself. A child cannot raise a child.

Wow, I really bounced around in this post haha. But these kinds of thoughts comfort me. I used to think that if I havent been in a long term relationship by now that there is something wrong with me. But I dont think thats the case anymore. I think I'm right where I need to be. I'll know when the time is right to settle down. Now as for my committed relationed friends...I think that if you are in love, truly in love, and you know you are going to spend the rest of your life with that person, it would just be plain stupid to call it off, just for freedom. You already know what its like to be with that person, obviously things are working if youre still together, so all the better to you. Now, if you are someone who is getting married just to be the first to get married, or for its pleasureable benefits, thats retarded. Thats a divorce waiting to happen.

But to end, Ill head back to the glory days and post a couple of pictures I found in my junk drawer of the ladies and I.